Tara Schuster, an author and entertainment executive, discusses her book: "Buy Yourself The F*cking Lilies And Other Rituals To Fix Your Life From Someone Who Has Been There."
We're facing challenging times, and amidst the chaos of the pandemic, finding silver linings and prioritizing self-care is crucial. This week, Tara Schuster joins us to share her wisdom. As the Vice President of Talent and Development at Comedy Central, Tara's impressive career includes contributions to shows like “Lights Out With David Spade” and “Key & Peele.” She recently published her first book, which explores personal growth and self-care practices.
Tara and Jean discuss the significance of indulging in small luxuries like buying those $7 lilies from Trader Joe's, emphasizing that such treats can enhance our lives. "We don't become stronger by denying ourselves; we become stronger by treating ourselves well and nurturing our needs," Tara explains.
Tara shares her experience of learning to re-parent herself, establishing new values, and creating healthier habits. She clarifies that self-care is not about extravagant vacations or spa days, but rather about addressing emotional wounds through daily rituals. "It's an honest assessment of what needs healing and incorporating practical routines into your life," she notes.
Gratitude also plays a vital role in self-care. Tara advises adopting a practice of "faking gratitude" to cultivate genuine appreciation. She started by listing simple blessings like clean sheets and water, which eventually helped her recognize the abundance in her life. If you struggle to find things to be grateful for, she suggests making a wish list of future gratitudes.
Additionally, Tara emphasizes the importance of uplifting others during tough times. She encourages reaching out to friends and family to foster connection and support. Sharing your presence can alleviate feelings of isolation for both you and your loved ones.
Reflecting on her childhood, Tara candidly discusses the financial stress she experienced growing up and its lasting impact. She encourages acknowledging financial shame and moving forward without adding guilt.
To find joy even in difficult times, Tara suggests simple pleasures like taking a bath, watching a favorite movie, or spritzing on a beloved perfume. These small acts can provide comfort and moments of peace.
In the Mailbag segment, Jean and Kathryn answer listener questions about buying homes during the pandemic, funding college education from retirement accounts, and how the IRS will determine stimulus check amounts. In Thrive, Jean shares details about a new provision in the CARES Act, allowing Health Savings Account (HSA) and Flexible Savings Account (FSA) funds to cover period products, including tampons, pads, liners, cups, and sponges.
Transcript
Tara Schuster: (00:00)
When we feel stressed or down, it's easy to feel isolated. However, reaching out and remembering that we belong to a community can lighten that burden.
Jean Chatzky: (00:25)
Our podcast is supported by Fidelity Investments, dedicated to guiding clients through any market conditions with timely financial advice. Learn more at Fidelity.com.
Jean Chatzky: (00:47)
Hi everyone, it's Jean Chatzky. Thanks for joining us today. We're here to support you during these challenging times. Today, we have Tara Schuster, who brings a wealth of experience and insight. Tara, thank you for being here.
Tara Schuster: (02:16)
Thanks for having me. I'm excited to join you.
Jean Chatzky: (02:20)
Let's start with your journey. How did you get here? Your story is fascinating.
Tara Schuster: (02:37)
Thank you! I always wanted to be in entertainment. Comedy Central gave me my first break after an internship at The Daily Show. I've been passionate about storytelling, and my book reflects that desire to connect.
Jean Chatzky: (03:29)
What does buying yourself the lilies mean?
Tara Schuster: (03:40)
It was a pivotal moment for me. Growing up, I didn't know how to care for myself, which led to emotional turmoil. I hit rock bottom, leading me to re-evaluate my life. I decided to treat myself with care, starting with those lilies I longed for.
Jean Chatzky: (05:26)
Re-parenting yourself? What does that entail?
Tara Schuster: (05:31)
It means giving myself the love and care I didn't receive as a child. I had to face my past traumas and heal them with kindness. I had to create my own nurturing environment.
Jean Chatzky: (09:38)
Can you share some of those daily rituals?
Tara Schuster: (10:24)
Absolutely! It’s about being intentional with my time. I write gratitude lists daily, even if I have to fake it at first. It helps reframe my perspective and appreciate my life.
Jean Chatzky: (14:29)
What advice can you give to brighten others' spirits during this time?
Tara Schuster: (15:34)
It's important to connect with your community. Reach out to those who might be struggling and offer support. A simple message can make a big difference.
Jean Chatzky: (17:30)
What can you say about financial stress?
Tara Schuster: (19:31)
Acknowledge your financial feelings without shame. This pandemic is unprecedented, and it's vital to forgive yourself while focusing on emotional health.
Jean Chatzky: (21:31)
How did you address your money story?
Tara Schuster: (21:38)
I realized my upbringing shaped my view of money. It was essential to change my narrative about finances.
Jean Chatzky: (22:47)
How do we find humor in tough times?
Tara Schuster: (23:03)
Find joy in small moments and connect with humor. It's vital to enjoy life, even during crises.
Jean Chatzky: (24:04)
What’s something enjoyable for you?
Tara Schuster: (24:06)
Watching classic movies and savoring small indulgences are my go-tos for joy.
Jean Chatzky: (25:07)
Thank you, Tara! Your insights are invaluable.
Jean Chatzky: (25:19)
The book is "Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies". We’ll be back with Kathryn and the mailbag.
Jean Chatzky: (25:29)
Kathryn Tuggle has joined us! Hi Kathryn.
Kathryn Tuggle: (25:40)
Hey Jean.
Jean Chatzky: (25:40)
Thanks for the great segment. I hope our listeners enjoyed it as much as I did.
Kathryn Tuggle: (25:48)
Absolutely, Tara is a fantastic follow on Instagram. The title of her book resonates with many.
Jean Chatzky: (26:31)
Her perspective on self-care is refreshing, focusing on everyday needs rather than indulgences.
Kathryn Tuggle: (27:09)
Exactly! Self-care should be a daily practice, not just a vacation.
Jean Chatzky: (27:23)
Absolutely, recognizing your needs is key.
Kathryn Tuggle: (27:38)
Totally true.
Jean Chatzky: (27:39)
Let's answer some listener questions!
Kathryn Tuggle: (29:10)
Our first question is from Kathy. She asks about stimulus checks and tax returns. What should she do if the IRS hasn’t received her 2019 return?
Jean Chatzky: (30:12)
Kathy, don’t file another return. The IRS will base your stimulus on the most recent return they have, and you’ll be fine.
Kathryn Tuggle: (33:01)
Next, Mary Pat has a question about college funding for her daughter. Should she withdraw from her IRA?
Jean Chatzky: (34:07)
I recommend exploring loans instead of dipping into retirement savings. Federal loans are a good option right now.
Kathryn Tuggle: (36:08)
Great advice! It’s important to explore all options.
Jean Chatzky: (36:17)
One more question. Kaitlin asks about managing cash savings while planning for a home purchase.
Kathryn Tuggle: (38:55)
You’re in a great position! Keep that cash in your high-yield savings account for now.
Jean Chatzky: (39:21)
Consider shifting your timeline to take advantage of the current buyer's market.
Kathryn Tuggle: (39:30)
Great points! Thank you for your questions. Where should they send more?
Jean Chatzky: (39:30)
Send them to info@savinghunt.com.
Jean Chatzky: (39:30)
In today's Thrive segment, we're excited to discuss a new provision from the CARES Act. For the first time, funds from Health Savings Accounts and Flexible Spending Accounts can be used for period products, including tampons, pads, liners, and more. This is a great opportunity for women!
Thank you for listening today. We appreciate Tara Schuster's insights and hope you feel inspired to nurture yourself and embrace life. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe to our show on your favorite podcast platform and leave a review.
We’ll return next week with another engaging guest. Thank you for joining us!
