Learn practical strategies for negotiating, making calls, and staying upbeat during medical challenges. We talk with Janine Urbaniak Reid, who shares her story.

Recently, many of us have become more aware of health matters, caregiving, and preparing for unexpected events. This week's focus is on these critical issues.

What do you do when facing personal health challenges while finances are tight? How do you balance caring for a sick child, work obligations, and your marriage? And how do you navigate the complex healthcare system without losing your sanity or going into debt?

Our guest, Janine Urbaniak Reid, has experienced these challenges firsthand and documented her journey in her book, "The Opposite of Certainty: Fear, Faith, And Life In Between." In it, she recounts her experiences as a mother of a son with a brain tumor and her exploration of resilience and faith.

Janine shares her health and family journey with Jean, discussing how she emerged from seemingly impossible situations intact. She emphasizes resilience while facing health struggles, particularly during turbulent times filled with uncertainty. Janine offers insights on living positively, even in challenging circumstances, and how to "live a life you don't hate, in circumstances you do."

She candidly discusses her experiences navigating the U.S. healthcare system while caring for her son Mason, now 23, detailing some frustrating moments, including the shock of seeing overwhelming medical bills. "It's hard to believe the numbers on those bills," she reflects. "I've never encountered such high figures. Thankfully, we had good insurance, which helped, but we all feel vulnerable."

Janine shares tactics for getting answers regarding hospital bills and insurance issues. Being polite and keeping meticulous records of communications proved invaluable. She often spent hours on the phone, treating her family's medical responsibilities like a full-time job. Through this, she learned to be proactive in selecting insurance plans and the significance of asking questions.

To maintain her mental, emotional, and financial well-being amidst health crises, Janine emphasizes the importance of asking herself, "Am I okay right now?" She acknowledges that living one day at a time can be tough.

To stay positive, Janine nurtured her friendships through texts and emails, finding joy in small messages from friends. She advises that there's no magic phrase to say to someone suffering; simply being there and offering support matters most.

In the Mailbag segment, Jean and Kathryn address a listener's question about asking for a raise after taking on extra responsibilities while also considering the impact of the pandemic. They also discuss the concerns of another listener contemplating refinancing her home amidst competing priorities like retirement savings and childcare. Lastly, they encourage conversations with parents about their financial situations, particularly in light of pandemic-related changes.

Transcript

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (00:00)
It's hard to believe the bill amounts. It's astonishing; I've never seen such high numbers. Luckily, we had solid insurance, but we are all vulnerable.

Jean Chatzky: (00:22)
Thanks for joining us today. I hope everyone is staying safe and well. We've all been more aware of health, caregiving, and planning for unforeseen events. Today's discussion will cover these topics, including managing health issues while finances are tight, caring for a sick child, juggling work commitments, and maintaining a marriage. How do we navigate the healthcare system without losing our minds or going into debt? Our guest has been through it all and even wrote a book about her experiences. Janine Urbaniak Reid, welcome.

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (02:40)
Thank you, Jean. It's great to be here.

Jean Chatzky: (02:43)
Can you tell us about your book? What motivated you to share such a personal story?

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (03:08)
The first time I shared my story about my son's brain tumor was driven by the healthcare debate. I remember hearing a politician discuss repealing the Affordable Care Act, ignoring the protections for pre-existing conditions. My son was hospitalized for six months during that time. I was in constant contact with our insurance administrator, worried about reaching his healthcare limits. This policy was deeply personal to me, and I felt compelled to write about it.

Jean Chatzky: (04:27)
I can relate as a mom. My first child had a congenital heart defect, leading to multiple surgeries. The lifetime cap removal relieved me significantly.

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (04:58)
Absolutely, you understand. We didn't realize how uncertain our lives were until we received a diagnosis. Many families share this experience, looking at bills that are simply staggering.

Jean Chatzky: (05:49)
Can you briefly summarize your story?

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (06:00)
Like many moms, I worked hard and aimed for perfection. However, I faced an unexpected challenge that was beyond my control.

Jean Chatzky: (06:51)
The pressure of perfect motherhood can be overwhelming. Focusing on what you can control is essential for resilience. How did you manage through this experience?

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (07:30)
I had to find the right medical team, which required effort. But it's easy to fall into an obsession with controlling outcomes.

Jean Chatzky: (08:42)
What hurdles did you face in the healthcare system, and how did you overcome them?

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (09:09)
I learned to be persistent, making numerous calls. Sometimes insurance companies initially say no.

Jean Chatzky: (09:24)
Right.

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (09:25)
Being proactive when calling for assistance is key. Sometimes you find helpful representatives. Documenting conversations is crucial.

Jean Chatzky: (10:12)
Have you had to escalate issues within insurance companies?

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (10:45)
Persistence pays off. Keeping precise records of who said what is beneficial.

Jean Chatzky: (10:50)
That's excellent advice.

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (10:50)
I had a situation where my son was denied coverage for an air ambulance ride. I pursued it relentlessly and eventually they covered it.

Jean Chatzky: (11:50)
What was the time and financial investment for your family?

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (11:54)
Luckily, I had flexibility in my career, which allowed me to be present for my ill child. I was aware of how fortunate we were compared to other families.

Jean Chatzky: (12:57)
Balancing everything and maintaining your reserves is crucial. Let's discuss that further.

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (14:04)
I've been hearing that my book resonates with many during these challenging times, emphasizing the importance of perspective.

Jean Chatzky: (14:37)
You emphasize living a life you don't hate, even in tough situations. Can you elaborate on that?

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (14:54)
During a medical crisis, I realized I couldn't postpone living my life. I had to focus on caring for myself and taking small breaks.

Jean Chatzky: (16:54)
It's crucial to find ways to stay positive amidst challenges. How do you manage that?

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (17:36)
I remind myself to acknowledge my feelings while also practicing gratitude. It's important to express fears and share them with friends.

Jean Chatzky: (18:44)
Your friendships were vital during your journey. Can you talk about their significance?

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (19:09)
Investing in friendships is essential, especially during difficult times. I cherished those connections, even if we couldn't meet face-to-face.

Jean Chatzky: (20:17)
Many people want to reach out but don't know how. How can we help them feel comfortable?

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (20:34)
Let them know there's no need for a magic phrase. Just being present and offering support is what matters.

Jean Chatzky: (21:36)
That's great advice. Now, tell us about your current life.

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (21:53)
Mason is turning 23 tomorrow. He continues to struggle with his tumor, which is active again after a decade.

Jean Chatzky: (22:43)
We'll keep sending good thoughts for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story.

Janine Urbaniak Reid: (23:00)
Thanks, I appreciate it.

Jean Chatzky: (23:02)
We look forward to having you back on the show.

Jean Chatzky: (23:32)
Now, let's hear from Kathryn and answer your questions.

Jean Chatzky: (23:57)
Kathryn, thank you for being here with me today.

Kathryn Tuggle: (23:59)
I'm always with you in spirit.

Jean Chatzky: (24:00)
That conversation was emotional. Navigating an uncontrollable situation with a child is incredibly difficult.

Kathryn Tuggle: (24:30)
It's tough to discuss the serious health challenges faced by loved ones.

Jean Chatzky: (24:48)
We hope for the best for Mason as he navigates this current situation.

Kathryn Tuggle: (25:01)
Navigating healthcare is a challenge for many, especially those without a background in complex insurance policies.

Jean Chatzky: (26:14)
It can feel demoralizing to explain your situation repeatedly to numerous representatives.

Kathryn Tuggle: (25:54)
Absolutely. You feel helpless while dealing with such serious issues.

Jean Chatzky: (26:26)
Thank you for sharing your insights, Janine. Now let's answer some questions from our listeners.

Kathryn Tuggle: (27:44)
Our first question comes from a listener seeking advice on negotiating a raise after taking on additional responsibilities.

Jean Chatzky: (29:13)
It's crucial to acknowledge the challenging circumstances and approach your raise discussion thoughtfully.

Kathryn Tuggle: (31:33)
You shouldn't undervalue your contributions. Make a comprehensive list of your added responsibilities.

Jean Chatzky: (31:58)
Consider how your current responsibilities have expanded and be confident in your worth.

Kathryn Tuggle: (32:17)
Great suggestions, Jean. Let us know how it goes!

Kathryn Tuggle: (32:21)
Our next listener has a question about refinancing student loans amid uncertain times.

Jean Chatzky: (34:10)
Both refinancing options are attractive due to low interest rates. Consider your financial situation and future plans.

Kathryn Tuggle: (36:39)
I love that approach of splitting the difference for flexibility.

Jean Chatzky: (36:49)
Thanks for the questions! Stay safe and take care.

Kathryn Tuggle: (37:21)
You too! Until next time.

Jean Chatzky: (37:29)
Join us next time for more insights.

Kathryn Tuggle: (37:29)
Yes!

Jean Chatzky: (37:29)
If you believe your parents' financial circumstances have changed due to the pandemic, it's time to have an important conversation. Financial discussions are vital, especially for those balancing families and aging parents. A recent survey found that many individuals in this position assist their parents financially or provide care. Approaching these topics can be challenging, but sharing your own financial situation can ease the dialogue. Ask about their savings and cash flow for future flexibility. Understanding where their financial documents are located and discussing long-term care is crucial. Open conversations can help identify gaps and reduce stress.

Thank you for joining us today! We appreciate Janine Urbaniak Reid for sharing her important experiences. If you enjoyed this discussion, please subscribe to our podcast and leave a review. Your feedback means a lot to us. Thanks for tuning in!