Before committing to a wedding venue, it’s crucial to evaluate both the emotional and financial implications to find the best fit for your needs.
On one side, you may envision an enchanting retreat. On the flip side, a picturesque beach with playful dolphins awaits. Additionally, a family member's generous offer of their home may be in the mix. So, where will you exchange vows? Everyone is eager to know.
You likely want to provide an answer, but narrowing down choices can be overwhelming.
Etiquette authority Jodi R.R. Smith advises couples to begin with their vision and then focus on their budget.
“You can create your dream wedding as long as you establish a budget and get a bit creative,” states Smith, who leads an etiquette consulting firm.
Jen Glantz, who runs a wedding-related service, highlights that once you determine your budget and what you can comfortably spend without incurring debt, you can allocate funds according to your priorities.
“If a destination wedding is your goal, factor in your travel expenses alongside other costs,” she suggests. If travel costs equal venue expenses, you might find that a local wedding allows for more guests.
According to Glantz, “If you’re okay with trimming your guest list and using those funds for travel, feel free to pursue your destination wedding plans without worry.”
Sounds straightforward, right? Let’s take a moment to discuss some key numbers and definitions.
Destination weddings often host fewer attendees, but that isn’t a strict rule.
Jen Avey, a marketing executive for a travel group, notes that in 2020, an average of 26 guests attended destination weddings, though some couples had over 100 attendees.
Next, let’s clarify some definitions. According to Avey, everyone has a different take on what constitutes a destination wedding.
While her company focuses on all-inclusive weddings in tropical locales, traditionally, a destination wedding refers to one held more than 200 miles from the couple’s residence.
Glantz defines a destination wedding as any event where more than half of the guests will need to travel and book accommodations for two or more nights. Smith views it as any wedding where no one from the couple or their families reside.
No matter where you celebrate, certain financial obligations remain constant.
Avey emphasizes that wedding expenses can vary significantly, but generally, couples are accountable for venue costs, floral arrangements, entertainment, and reception meals. Guests usually cover their own travel and lodging expenses for destination weddings.
When crafting your guest list, Avey recommends starting with a local wedding invite list, then narrowing it down for a destination event.
“Consider your guests’ financial situations and where they’re located when deciding on your venue,” she advises, noting that many couples survey friends and family to gauge who’s willing to travel.
Glantz suggests couples should assume that about 85% of those invited to a destination wedding will attend. If fewer show up, the couple can allocate that extra money elsewhere or save it. Some couples only plan for 60 to 75% attendance, which can disrupt their budget if more guests accept the invitation.
That’s something no one wants.
In addition to budgeting for themselves, Smith stresses the importance of providing information to guests. Those asked to join the wedding party should be aware of their financial responsibilities. Wedding websites can serve as excellent resources to outline activities and associated costs.
“We can’t spend others' money, including their vacation funds or time off,” Smith points out, explaining that couples may need to cover more expenses for guests’ meals, flights, and lodging for faraway weddings.
Glantz also advises couples to conduct a “gut check” to decide who they want to spend time with; a destination wedding typically involves more events with guests.
Avey offers a thought to ponder: would you prefer a few hours mingling with hundreds in a banquet hall, or several days in a beautiful setting creating lasting memories with your closest friends and family?
Ultimately, this will require some tough choices.
Smith suggests that viewing the wedding solely through the couple's lens sets a shaky foundation for marriage, particularly for those from typical family structures. It’s important to consider parents and extended family, as these are individuals who will continue to be part of your life.
For those who had small ceremonies but wish for larger celebrations later, Smith recommends renewing vows.
If you can do it without going into debt, she advises maximizing your joy. As Smith wisely notes, “Life is short.”
