A recent discussion revealed five compliments that men should retire from their vocabulary. Here's a rundown of what women really think.

After speaking with accomplished women, it's clear there are certain phrases that many prefer to avoid. Context is key; what might work at a bar is often inappropriate in a professional environment. Unlike a casual setting where a woman can simply walk away, in an office, she may feel trapped. A slight misstep in comments can lead to a very uncomfortable situation.

Some men may feel taken aback when their locker room humor is deemed inappropriate at work, but it's essential to understand the shift in workplace etiquette. A smart approach is to pause before speaking—something not always common among men—and if you wouldn't say it to a man, don't say it to a woman.

After gathering insights, here are the five compliments that should definitely be left unsaid.

“She has such a nice personality.”

This timeless backhanded compliment implies she's not attractive, suggesting, “She’s not a beauty, but...” Women don’t want their worth determined by looks alone; moods fluctuate, and sometimes, she might just not be into you.

“Your hair looks so nice that way.”

This phrase suggests her hair typically looks bad. If her hairstyle is the same every day, your comment might just highlight your ignorance.

Another frequent faux pas is saying, “Your hair looks better straight.” Women with curly hair often don’t care that you prefer it styled.

“You’re not like other women.”

First, it’s “women,” not “girls.” This type of compliment often belittles others instead of lifting them up. A woman in her thirties shared an experience with a man remarking, “Women in D.C. are plain, but not you.”

The implication is that being slightly less plain is a compliment.

“You’d be so pretty if you smiled.”

As someone who often has a serious expression, I understand the annoyance of unsolicited smiling advice. Women don’t owe anyone a smile. Consider their perspective—if they’re facing challenges or inequalities, they may not feel like smiling all the time.

“You’re too pretty to be with him.”

This comment implies she’s incapable of making her own choices, or worse, that your shallow remark could lead her to choose you instead.

A columnist I spoke with summarized this well: “Unless you know a woman well, comments based on appearance can come off as creepy or loaded. It’s best to avoid them unless it’s in the right context, and certainly, compliment your female colleagues for their hard work and leadership.”