Rosalind Wiseman, renowned for her insights on workplace dynamics, provides valuable advice on managing challenging colleagues and standing up for yourself.
Do you have a preferred boss gender? It's an interesting topic. If you find yourself leaning towards male leadership, it doesn't imply you're against feminism. Surveys by Pew and Gallup indicate that many women prefer working for and with men. Additionally, a UCLA study revealed that even female managers often favor male supervisors. Why? Participants noted that female managers can sometimes be perceived as “emotional,” “catty,” or “bitchy.”
If you're leading a team and feeling uneasy about these perceptions, you're not alone. There's an urgent need to shift this narrative if we want to see more women ascend to leadership roles. Wiseman, author of Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World, understands these complexities intimately.
Wiseman frequently encounters women who feel their workplaces mirror high school drama. Consequently, she dedicates her career to addressing toxic workplace environments, including recruitment challenges and high employee turnover. One key reason women perpetuate bullying in professional settings is the misconception that they’ve outgrown such behavior. “If we don’t learn how to handle conflict, we’ll be caught off guard by situations where we think we should manage better,” Wiseman explains. “And when blindsided, responding effectively becomes a challenge.”
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One effective method to address situations where you feel ostracized is to identify a trusted colleague and seek their feedback. Start by explaining why you value their insights. Then, casually mention, “I’m finding it difficult to integrate into X group, and I’d appreciate ten minutes of your time for some feedback.”
However, the issue may not stem from you at all. Receiving feedback that reinforces your worth can be incredibly beneficial!
Over the years, Wiseman has supported countless women frustrated with their work environments, whether facing typical “mean girls” or feeling stagnant in their roles. Before considering a job change, she advises reflecting on these questions: “How do I know that to be true? How much is my narrative influenced by past experiences? How does my upbringing shape my ability to express frustration or advocate for myself?”
Next, embrace discomfort, confront negative behavior, and assert your needs within your workplace. In Mailbag, we respond to a listener contemplating co-owning a property for her granddaughter and another considering a job at a company with poor reviews. Should she bring this up during her interview? Also, in our money tip of the week, is taking a “workcation” in a sunny destination worthwhile?
