Deb Liu highlights the significance of forming authentic bonds with colleagues alongside professional accomplishments. Exploring our family's past can provide profound insights into our identities and roles in society.
Growing up in South Carolina, Liu was among the few Asian-American students, often facing bullying and pranks. This challenging environment compelled her to fight for her place in life. Her determination earned her a college scholarship, a prestigious role at a consulting firm, and acceptance into business school. “I was focused on achievements, yet lacked meaningful relationships,” she reflects.
Years later, her mentorship with Sheryl Sandberg at Facebook transformed her outlook. One day, Sandberg told her, “You don’t have to fight anymore. You can be gracious.”
This moment changed everything for Liu. She realized, “I was competing with others to claim my space. Success isn’t about winning; it’s about fostering connections because work is a team effort. Are you focused on your name or that of the team?”
After 12 years climbing the ranks at Facebook, Liu became the CEO of Ancestry.com. Her bestselling book “Take Back Your Power: 10 New Rules for Women at Work” details how she took charge of her story and the vital lessons she wishes to impart to other women striving for success.
She often encounters what she terms “strategic ambiguity” among female leaders, a reluctance to ask for what they desire due to the fear of rejection.
“Instead of making a request that requires a simple yes or no, like ‘Can I have a raise?’ I suggest framing it as, ‘I’ve been with you for a while, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on what I need to advance. How can we collaborate to showcase those skills?’ This approach turns you into a partner,” Liu advises.
