Wedding season can fill your mailbox with invites, but attending every celebration isn’t realistic. Here’s how to graciously decline certain weddings.

Depending on your circumstances, you might receive numerous wedding invitations yearly, and saying “yes” to every one just isn’t practical.

“Making sure you have the right outfit and a gift can add up, especially if the wedding is far from where you live,” remarks a wedding planner. So when should you opt out?

Here’s a guide on which weddings can be skipped and how to communicate your decision politely.

When Your Absence Won't Be Missed

Consider if you're surprised to receive the invite. If so, you might not need to attend.

“If it’s a distant relative and declining won’t raise eyebrows, then it’s perfectly fine to skip,” advises a relationship expert. “Not wanting to attend a wedding with minimal connection is a valid reason.”

Other scenarios to decline include large weddings where you only know the couple or events attended by your parents, who can represent your family. “Saying no can actually benefit the couple,” another expert points out. “Sometimes, invitations go out of courtesy, and a smaller guest list can ease financial burdens.”

If unsure, ask yourself: “Will not attending harm our relationship?” If the answer is no, feel free to decline.

When You Haven't Connected Recently

Receiving a wedding invite from an old friend can be complicated, especially if you haven’t seen them in years.

“While it’s common to feel obligated to invite people from the past, it’s crucial to focus on the present and future,” says the planner. “If you foresee a future bond, consider attending. But if this wedding feels like a final farewell, it’s okay to skip.”

Especially if you have multiple weddings lined up, prioritize attending those of close family and friends first.

When It’s an Invitation from an Ex

This situation might feel straightforward, but ex-partners often receive wedding invites more frequently than expected. If you’re contemplating attending, it’s likely best to decline. “Respond promptly and don’t provide an explanation,” suggests the expert. “A simple gift, like a fruit basket, can be sent instead. Move on.”

When You Can’t Afford a Destination Wedding

With friends and family scattered, destination weddings may come up, but the costs can accumulate quickly. “Traveling for weddings often means flights, hotels, and other expenses,” explains the planner. Anticipate spending between $500 and $1,000 per wedding.

Also consider convenience, especially for international destinations. “Can you turn the trip into a vacation?” the planner asks. If the travel is inconvenient, it might not be worth the effort.

How to Communicate Your Decision

If you know you’ll decline, inform the couple promptly. “If they send a save-the-date, that’s your chance to politely decline,” suggests a bridal expert. This way, the couple can avoid sending a full invite.

If you don’t receive a save-the-date, write a note with your RSVP card, expressing your regrets. Something simple like: “I’m so sorry to miss your celebration. Wishing you both a wonderful day!” can suffice. Calling is also a considerate option for those close to you.

If financial issues prevent you from attending, consider inviting the couple out for a celebratory dinner before or after their wedding.

Gift Giving Considerations

When declining a wedding invitation, you generally aren’t expected to send a gift. “Etiquette suggests that gifts aren’t required from those who won’t attend,” explains the bridal expert. However, if you’re close to the couple, sending a gift can soften the disappointment of your absence. “This way, you won’t forget later, and a thoughtful gift can ease the sting of a ‘no,’” suggests another expert. You can even choose a smaller gift since you won’t be attending.