The soft life trend encourages a lifestyle of comfort and indulgence, but experts assert that it extends beyond mere relaxation.

Originating from the Nigerian influencer scene, the concept of a soft life signifies a departure from hustle culture, embracing ease and tranquility. As someone who used to thrive on busyness, the moment I learned about this movement, I felt an instant connection.

As a former workaholic, I sought any excuse to prioritize self-care. My old mantra was “Every day I’m hustling!” and I wore my busy schedule like a badge of honor.

“I’m a machine,” I’d boast when asked how I managed multiple writing projects alongside a full-time teaching job. However, a cancer diagnosis in January 2020 forced me to slow down and reassess my priorities. This life-altering event taught me that “health is wealth.” I still have aspirations, but I wondered how to pursue my goals while embodying a soft life. Affording it seemed impossible, too.

Scrolling through countless videos tagged with #softlife on Instagram and TikTok reveals women flaunting lavish lifestyles—relaxing on exotic beaches, cruising in luxury cars, and donning high-end fashion. Is this the ideal soft life we should strive for? Here are ways to cultivate a genuine soft life without jeopardizing your well-being.

Invest in Yourself

How could I possibly enjoy a luxurious lifestyle without wealthy relatives to support me? As a full-time freelance writer, I’m on a path that doesn’t typically lead to quick riches. Moreover, as a Black woman, I face a widening wage gap.

For Jasmine “Jaz” Turner, a 25-year-old content creator and entrepreneur from Atlanta, the soft life isn’t about flaunting designer logos.

“Living a soft life means nurturing myself first,” she explains. “Then I can contribute to others and my work from a place of abundance.”

Turner emphasizes that embracing a soft life involves choosing the easiest path. “I avoid activities that don’t resonate with my goals,” she clarifies. This doesn’t imply shirking responsibilities, but rather aligning actions with personal aspirations.

Prioritize Your Well-Being

Living authentically is central to the soft life, according to Turner. Yet, she learned this lesson through struggle. After graduating summa cum laude from Spelman College, she enrolled in Emory University’s law school.

“Law school revolved around hustling,” she shares. “The pressure of grind culture negatively impacted my health.”

She faced skin issues, hair loss, weight fluctuations, sleep disturbances, and digestive problems during her law studies. Ultimately, she left law school in February 2021 and transitioned to an MBA program. Listening to her body became crucial in her soft life journey.

“From deciding whether to hit the gym or making significant life choices, I ask myself what truly feels right,” she says.

Similarly, Funmi Ford, a content creator and stylist from Birmingham, Alabama, discovered that her self-worth shouldn’t hinge on her professional achievements. If a collaboration didn’t materialize or media exposure fell short, her self-esteem would plummet.

“I chased after goals that weren’t aligned with me, motivated by status and financial gain,” she reflects. “Recognizing the imbalance was a turning point.”

A devoted wife and mother of two, Ford now prioritizes time with family and self-care. She once worked seven days a week, but now she limits content creation to two or three days each week.

A Soft Life Requires Effort

If you think soft living equates to laziness, reconsider.

“A soft life doesn’t mean avoiding hard work,” asserts Turner. “It’s about passionately pursuing what you love. I rest when I’m fatigued and push forward when inspiration strikes.”

Ford supports this notion: “I still work hard; I just avoid overworking.” Both women have thrived since they scaled back their efforts.

Turner has established a flourishing career as a content creator and launched her line of luxury sleepwear. Ford has gained recognition in national publications and secured partnerships with major brands like Amazon.

Soft Living is for Everyone

Though the #softlife trend predominantly circulates on TikTok, it’s not limited to the younger generation. Attorney and author Lisa Bonner, based in New York, believes that this lifestyle is for all ages. She asserts that the pandemic served as an awakening for many who previously adhered to hustle culture.

“People are realizing that life is fleeting and time is precious,” she says. “It’s essential to reevaluate priorities, adjust accordingly, and truly enjoy the time we have.” Like Turner, Bonner consistently checks in with herself.

“I assess each opportunity to determine if it aligns with my desires before committing,” she explains. “Taking a moment to evaluate if something serves my time, energy, and mental well-being is crucial.”

Daily joy is vital to Bonner. For her, this includes walks, meditation, or cycling on her Peloton.

Integrating Soft Living with a 9 to 5

For Turner, the soft life also involves breaking free from the stereotype of the strong Black woman, while acknowledging that her mother’s dedication provided her with opportunities.

“My ability to embrace a soft life stems from my strong Black heritage,” she notes.

She recognizes that self-employed individuals often wield more control over their schedules. However, even those in traditional 9 to 5 jobs can incorporate aspects of a soft life.

Bonner, Ford, and Turner agree that identifying your desires is crucial for setting values-aligned goals. Determine what you truly want for your life and career, and start shedding what doesn’t fit.

“Sometimes, you need to hustle to achieve that soft life,” Turner states. “But ensure that your hustle is for your own benefit.”

Self-care shouldn’t be limited to “Self-Care Saturday.” Commit to doing at least one kind act for yourself daily.

“If you work a 9 to 5, consider going to bed earlier and waking up earlier to dedicate even 30 minutes to yourself,” Turner suggests. She emphasizes that you deserve it.

Regular Self-Check-Ins

Maintain a journal for regular self-reflections to stay centered. Bonner advises noting three things you’re grateful for each day.

“Stay prepared so you don’t have to scramble later,” Bonner advises, sharing her secret to success. During law school and while studying for the bar, she avoided all-nighters and prioritized her wellness.

“This was two decades ago, long before ‘self-care’ was a buzzword,” she recalls. Her method was straightforward: she studied six days a week and took Sundays off, tackling projects promptly rather than cramming.

“It’s a marathon, not a sprint,” she reminds us.

Ford emphasizes that strategic planning facilitates her soft life. Mondays are dedicated to pitching brands and meeting with her manager, while Tuesdays focus on creating content. Regularly evaluate your workload and plan accordingly.

Embrace Your Feminine Energy

Nurturing feminine energy is essential for Ford, contributing to her soft life. For her, this might involve a weekend getaway in Atlanta for indulgence. However, for Turner, it can be as simple as “going to bed beautifully.” Don’t hesitate to slip into luxurious pajamas and capture some selfies.

Conversations with Bonner, Ford, and Turner revealed that I’m already embracing a soft life! While I may not be jet-setting to Dubai or driving a luxury vehicle, my mornings consist of sipping green tea and journaling. I engage in daily exercise and meditate each night. I’m pursuing work I adore and defining success on my own terms. Thanks to my soft lifestyle, I possess the energy to chase my ambitions.

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