What qualities define an effective negotiator? Many envision an assertive, demanding figure, often male, who dominates discussions. These portrayals, often seen on shows like Shark Tank or Law and Order, don't serve everyone well. In fact, research indicates that women negotiating their salaries face biases that can hinder their progress in the workplace. They often appear less likable and less promotable than their male counterparts for the same actions. Unsurprisingly, this bias contributes to women's hesitation to engage in salary negotiations in the first place.
However, a new perspective on negotiations from a professor at the University of Pennsylvania encourages a more compassionate and genuine approach. Mori Taheripour, a negotiation expert and educator at the Wharton School, has empowered countless students in negotiation techniques. She also collaborates with small business owners nationwide through the Goldman Sachs 10,000 Small Businesses program. In 2020, she published Bring Yourself: How to Harness the Power of Connection to Negotiate Fearlessly.
Mori emphasizes that negotiation extends far beyond salary discussions. Everyday interactions, even persuading a child to eat broccoli, involve negotiation skills. Everyone has the potential to excel in negotiations, including those who view themselves as timid or conflict-averse. In fact, effective negotiators often defy the aggressive stereotypes associated with this skill.
She also highlights the strengths of people pleasers in negotiations. They can excel if they learn to assert their boundaries and prioritize their values.
“Saying yes to everyone except yourself can lead to burnout and resentment,” Mori notes. “People pleasers have a strong foundation for negotiation, but it's essential to value and honor yourself while considering others.”
Mori shares actionable strategies to prepare for your next negotiation. Start by identifying your deal-breakers and aspirations. Aim high, as studies reveal that setting ambitious goals increases the likelihood of achieving favorable outcomes. Understanding the other party’s perspective can lead to unexpected solutions. “Recognizing what the other party feels and desires is vital,” Mori advises. “Taking time to understand them can greatly influence the outcome.”
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