Discussing salaries with friends can be a game changer in tackling the gender pay gap.

After a couple of mimosas at brunch, I'm usually ready to spill the tea on almost anything. We chat about work drama, dating mishaps, and which employers to steer clear of. This exchange helps us dodge pitfalls in our careers and relationships. Yet, there's one topic that often goes unmentioned: "What do you actually earn?"

While it might feel uncomfortable to discuss salaries with your close friends, broaching this subject can be incredibly helpful, particularly as women strive for pay equality. The American Association of University Women (AAUW) reports that women earn only 54% to 80% of what men do, varying by race, with African American and Latina women earning even less than their white counterparts. By sharing our experiences, we can shine a light on this issue and work toward fair compensation.

Embrace Transparency

Knowledge is empowering. The most accomplished women are already opening up about their financial situations with friends.

Lee Mayer, CEO of a home design platform, emphasizes that money shouldn't be a taboo subject among trusted friends and advisors. "We discuss so much about our careers and personal lives, but money, a vital part of our lives, remains cloaked in secrecy. While it's natural to feel uneasy, sharing financial journeys with those who provide honest advice is entirely reasonable," she notes.

If you're still hesitant to talk about money, consider this: you share the best deals you find on clothes or rent, right? So why not help friends get the best salary possible too?

Be Bold Like Men

I know the feeling well—anxiety spiraling when contemplating asking for a raise, fearing immediate termination. Yet many men don't share this fear.

"My male friends and my husband openly discuss their salaries and how they negotiated them. This confidence allows them to walk into any office and demand their worth," Mayer explains. If you don't know what others in your field and experience level earn, how can you set realistic salary expectations?

Motivation Through Comparison

I've often held back from sharing my salary details for fear of hurting someone's feelings. I worried about feeling inadequate if a friend earned more, and vice versa. That mindset was misguided. My efforts to be polite were hindering not only my own growth but also that of my fellow women. Penelope Lockwood, a psychology professor at the University of Toronto, points out that despite the discomfort of discovering someone earns more, such comparisons can motivate us.

Seeing someone excel can serve as inspiration, showing you that success is attainable. Especially in fields where glass ceilings persist, it's crucial for women to see role models who resemble them. Furthermore, discussing gender-specific workplace challenges like maternity leave and fertility can help navigate these complex issues and their financial implications.

Starting the Conversation

If mimosas aren't your style for kicking off salary talks, there are gentler ways to ease into the conversation.

Consider forming a book club, as suggested by author Jan Cullinane, who wrote "The Single Woman's Guide to Retirement". "In my all-female book clubs, we pick titles covering negotiation and financial perspectives, like 'Ask for It' and 'Predictably Irrational.' Discussing these books over wine can pave the way for conversations about salaries without making it feel personal," Cullinane shares.

Additionally, women can organize gatherings with financial advisors to talk openly about salaries, financial fears, and other money matters without judgment.

"Discussing these topics reassures us that we're not alone and that many face similar challenges. Sharing information is powerful, and the more we discuss, the more we all benefit," she adds.

So, raise a glass (or three) at your next brunch, and don't shy away from talking salaries. If your friend group is anything like mine, one open conversation can lead to everyone feeling more comfortable sharing their earnings and aspirations. I'm grateful for the steps we've taken to foster this dialogue. Together, we're inching closer to closing the gender pay gap.