Requesting extended parental leave is possible, whether you’re welcoming a new child or growing your family. Here’s how to approach it.

For those working in the U.S., it’s important to recognize that our nation lacks a federally mandated parental leave system. Consequently, the security surrounding maternity leave is often determined by individual employers.

The Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) from 1993 allows for 12 weeks of job-protected leave, but it is unpaid. Self-employed individuals and many hourly workers may have even fewer options available.

Some leading companies, such as Google, Facebook, and Hilton, offer generous parental benefits, but many expectant families across the country face limited or no support.

A study by Moms First found that 42% of new mothers contemplated leaving their jobs after childbirth. Additionally, 75% felt their workplaces could improve support for growing families. This often leads to women leaving leadership roles or stagnating in their careers, exacerbating the gender pay gap.

Here’s how to successfully negotiate for a longer parental leave.

Understand It May Be Challenging

Negotiating for an extended leave can be intimidating. Many companies have set policies regarding absences, making them resistant to change. Patience and preparation are essential, particularly as these policies are often guided by legal regulations. However, don’t let that deter you; come equipped with relevant facts and counterpoints.

“We must reduce burnout and improve the workplace for women, especially mothers,” states an HR expert. “There’s significant judgment surrounding maternity leave and the support women need after returning to work.”

Negotiating for longer parental leave is crucial for allowing parents to heal and bond with their children during such a pivotal time. Companies benefit as well, gaining refreshed and dedicated employees upon their return.

Gather Important Information

Before initiating your request, familiarize yourself with your company’s parental leave policy and how it’s been applied in the past, suggests an HR professional.

Consider these questions before you arrange a meeting:

  • Is the leave policy consistently enforced? If so, how?
  • Who is responsible for approving parental leave?
  • Does the policy allow for flexibility?
  • Are there ways to extend your leave at the same salary, or options for part-time work or remote roles?
  • Have exceptions to the policy been made previously? If so, under what conditions?
  • Is there room for discretion at the management level?

Conduct Your Research

Many working parents may be willing to share their insights. Reach out to colleagues about their experiences with parental leave.

If you have a rapport with someone, casually discuss it during a break or lunch. If you're less familiar, consider setting up a dedicated time to talk about the parental leave policy and their experiences. An example approach could be:

“Hi [Name],

Even though we work in different departments, I'm [Your Name] from [Your Department]. I noticed you recently took parental leave, and I’d appreciate any tips you could share based on your experience. I’m happy to chat at your convenience or you can respond via email. Thank you!”

Prepare for Transition and Coverage

Taking extended leave can disrupt operations, leading to concerns from management. An HR consultant notes that it’s surprising how many people underestimate the planning involved.

Once you determine how long you want to be away, outline a transition plan. Detail who will handle your responsibilities and how you’ll prepare them. “Being thorough shows commitment to your organization,” she emphasizes.

Discuss Your Long-Term Aspirations

Communicate your career goals along with the need for additional leave. Some employers may worry that extended leave means you won’t return. Engaging in an open conversation about your return plans can alleviate these concerns.

Seek a Compromise

Consider what your employer might gain from granting additional leave. If they seem hesitant, propose a compromise. You might offer to work part-time or on a flexible schedule, which can satisfy both parties. Options could include working fewer days or alternating between in-office and remote work. “This way, your expertise remains valuable while you enjoy more time with your child,” a career advisor suggests.

Before suggesting a schedule adjustment, clarify how many hours you can contribute.

If you’re integral to a project, be ready to explain how you’ll remain involved on a reduced schedule.

Explore Leave of Absence or PTO Options

If your request for extended leave is denied, explore other company policies that might provide additional time off. Some companies offer unpaid personal leave, which may not be widely known. You could request this alongside your allocated parental leave.

Another option is to utilize accrued vacation days. You could even ask if the company would permit an advancement on vacation or PTO, allowing you to start with a negative balance that needs to be repaid over time. This could address immediate needs for paid parental leave.